apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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