I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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