after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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