She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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