Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
