I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
