it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
