I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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