The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
