I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you didnt know i had herpes?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
