We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
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She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
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Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
My ass is underappreciated
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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