I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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