Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Non-Jews are for practice
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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