dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
that's an acceptable place to lick
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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