the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
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I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
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I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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