u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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