What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
