whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
