Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
