i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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