If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
