So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
