just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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