Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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