it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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