does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
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I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
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I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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