I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
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This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
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If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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