your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Do vagina's smell?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
