I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I am midnight drunk by noon
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
