Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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