My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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