you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Randomize