so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
