I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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