your parents love me but you hate me
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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