y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Small penises have feelings too.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
