do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
