yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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