Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
