he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
