I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
