I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
