OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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