so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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