Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
