We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
