i wish peter jackson would direct porn
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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