dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
