i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize