Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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