I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
