: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
