i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
is wine microwaveable?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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