While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
