She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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