Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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