White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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