get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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