my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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