Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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