My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
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