i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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