Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
