Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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